i’ve decided i’m going to start writing in my journal again. i have too many thoughts that are just swishing around my head that need to just get out so i can finally have some peace.
he created an illusion of kindness and caring, when the reality
of his plight was anything but. He was cutting with his thoughts, but spoke
only soft words — perhaps to conceal his feelings, or to give off the semblance
of having any human feelings.
i spoke to my doctor today, and i’ve decided that after a year of taking sertraline, i’m going to taper off, once i’ve settled in auckland.
i have a new prescription for a further 3 months supply, and so i will see how i get on for a couple of months in new zealand, and then half my dosage for a month, and then to no pills at all.
i’m excited, because i feel ready to see how i cope with life. i feel like i have found things more manageable – even though i have gone through a break-up and been away from a lot of my close friends this year, i feel like i can deal with some tough stuff better than i could before. happiness is no longer this unobtainable thing; i can see it and i can feel it.
- temporary is this visit
- back “home” in england for one month
- i am selling all my old stuff and de-cluttering everything here
- preparing for the move to new zealand
- leaving people behind is not permanent. i’ll come back for you
Unmoved by this hostile breeze, I stand
immobile: like dull, lead drain pipes,
suffocating this caustic residence.
by volatile gusts.
I am round, and heavy, and grey.
Travelling is something that enriches the soul: exploring new cultures, local delicacies, breathing fresh air, and even just getting lost in a new surrounding.
Travel need not be expensive. You will need to save up some money to physically reach your destination; but finding accommodation and healthy eats can be inexpensive if you research and plan your trip.
Last year, I took a long weekend in Denmark and in total, I spent under £200 over four days (three nights). Prior to that, I spent three days in Amsterdam (two nights) and spent £155 on accommodation (hotel) and return flights.
Budget airlines such as Ryanair, EasyJet, and WhizzAir have many tickets on sale at a reasonable price and are ideal for short-haul flights. Note: these flights will generally only include a hand luggage allowance. If you can be flexible with the dates (especially midweek), you’re more likely to find a cheap deal. You can just browse all destinations and find one that is cost-effective and convenient.
If you’re travelling for a longer time frame, or visiting multiple cities/countries, you should take care to look for checked-luggage allowance.
It’s also a good idea to set a spending limit and work to stick to it. Once you’ve paid the basics (flights and accommodation), you should set a budget for your daily spend on food and things to do.
Next, you will need to change up currency (if you can do this in advance, you can plan ahead to find the best exchange rate and make the most of your money). It might also be worth talking to any friends/family/co-workers that may have some of that currency that they will exchange you for a better rate. If you can agree a rate between you, you will save having to fork out on commission as well as helping someone shift unwanted currency.
In addition, I would recommend planning your journey to and from the airport and booking as far in advance as possible to get the best deals. This is something I didn’t do on my recent trip, and a single ticket from King’s Cross London to Luton Airport cost more than my return flight to Denmark. If you can get a free lift, book a cheap coach or train ticket, do it ASAP because the prices increase nearer the day.
Also, once you know where you are staying, it is best to plan the route from your destination to your accommodation. Knowing which train or bus you need to take will result in a stress-free brain and be much cheaper than landing and thinking “oh well, may as well book a cab”. You’ll get to experience the city’s transport system as a local would which is much more satisfying.
The best way to find cheap accommodation is remind yourself that it is not necessarily about looks and aesthetic: think functionality, practicality, and value for money. Think about what you want most from the holiday: you could consider renting an apartment on sites like AirBnB. This works well if you’re travelling as a couple or group as you can split the cost for accommodation and food. The benefit of renting an apartment is access to a kitchen where you can whip up delicious meals for a fraction of restaurant prices.
If you’re a solo traveller, there are many inexpensive dorm rooms available in budget hostels. You’ll get to meet fellow travellers and some hostels have free breakfast. If you want to live like a local, you can couchsurf and stay on someone’s sofa/spare room free of charge. The majority of the hosts are extremely accommodating and go above and beyond with showing people around the area. If you’re visiting somewhere for a longer period of time, things like WWOOFing, HelpX or workaway can offer bed and board in exchange for a few hours of work a day. In addition, you’ll ideally want to find somewhere to stay that has access to a kitchen, as this will be instrumental in slashing the cost of your trip.
she had been praying every night that her father would be well and would come home
I have changed my travel plans slightly.
I will fly back to the UK for one month in May, and then return back to Thailand – where I will stay in Bangkok for a few days. I will then catch a flight to Auckland from there, rather than spend a month or two in Thailand. Reasons for this include:
- it is cheaper to fly in June
- I can pack mostly a winter wardrobe – aka more city appropriate clothing
- I don’t have to worry about storing my stuff somewhere, as I wouldn’t want to lug around NZ clothing/items
- it is time to start the new chapter in my life
- the SE Asian adventure ends, the NZ one begins!
Your heavy heartbeat is deafening us both, yet it makes me feel safe.
This is all illusory: your heart does not sing my name.
If I were to fall, you would not be able to catch me; bones would shatter, and I would be dumber than I already am.
There are times when I simply can’t face your face.
Time again, your smile simultaneously builds and destroys.
Everything is out of focus – but you. You don’t see me, though
i wrapped myself up in you, and to what end?
i see you in everyone and i search endlessly for the fire that consumed you.
you burned me and i sleep in the ashes that you left behind.
washing you away is not an option, for you are the brightest part of me