the travel plans

I have changed my travel plans slightly.

I will fly back to the UK for one month in May, and then return back to Thailand – where I will stay in Bangkok for a few days. I will then catch a flight to Auckland from there, rather than spend a month or two in Thailand. Reasons for this include:

  1. it is cheaper to fly in June
  2. I can pack mostly a winter wardrobe – aka more city appropriate clothing
  3. I don’t have to worry about storing my stuff somewhere, as I wouldn’t want to lug around NZ clothing/items
  4. it is time to start the new chapter in my life
  5. the SE Asian adventure ends, the NZ one begins!

thoughts of the day

  • i have booked a flight back to london in may to visit family & friends for one month before returning to thailand
  • there’s a lump in my throat that makes it hard to breathe and it is because you keep making me feel tense and afraid and not good enough. over and over again
  • i will then spend another month or two in south east asia before going to new zealand to live & work
  • you didn’t put in the effort, so i gave up on you. it shouldn’t come as a shock to you that i no longer want you in my life
  • i really love my bottle green jumper. it’s so lovely and snug
  • buy a new menstrual cup when i get back in the UK
  • tenderness and affection will always be feigned by you
  • stop and breathe
  • order new bank card with later expiry dates
  • extend and renew travel insurance
  • i am grateful for my friends. the ones who are actually supportive and there for me

at the core

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for as long as i can remember, i have always

identified myself based on my relationships with other

people. one day, my spirit was awakened, and i

realised that i could still be me without

someone else to affirm my worth. i began to unravel, slowly,

from the outside, in. soon the artifice ebbed away

from my little core, and my authentic being was finally

free.

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